


I’ll Watch over You

by Insanefangirl



Series: Mental Health with Team Free Will [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Has Mental Health Issues (Supernatural), Depression, Eating Disorder, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Human Castiel, Just not taking care of himself, M/M, Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29403384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insanefangirl/pseuds/Insanefangirl
Summary: Cas has been human for half a year and Dean is getting nervous about how long it’s taking for his former angel to adapt.Mild trigger warnings for depression and eating disorders but it’s not graphic
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Mental Health with Team Free Will [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889341
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	I’ll Watch over You

Thin ice. It’s all Dean can think about. Cas is on thin fucking ice. How long is too long? Dean’s kept his distance but when should this passed have passed?

Cas has been human for six months and Dean’s boyfriend for eight. Dean understands there’s an adjustment time. He’s tried to respect that. He let Cas not come to bed after Dean gently reminded him twice humans need sleep. He let Cas skip meals after asking if he was hungry. He let Cas train and exercise after asking if he was feeling up to it. 

He thought he was doing the right thing. It’s not like there’s a book on how to transition from angel to human. Dean’s trying. The Winchester philosophy is space, so that’s what he did. 

Now it’s been six months and he’s worried. Cas is too skinny, any and all muscle his vessel had had as an angel is basically gone. Dean doesn’t understand how, Cas is constantly training. His blue blue eyes are dull, contrasting against the dark dark bags underneath. 

Dean is doing something wrong, and his boyfriend is suffering for it. 

Taking a breath, Dean steadies himself before approaching Cas in their bedroom who is reading. That’s another thing, if Cas isn’t training physically he’s training mentally. 

“Cas?” Dean announces himself as he steps into their bedroom. 

“Yes, Dean?” Cas looks up briefly before returning his gaze to his book. 

“This is a conversation I’m going to need all of your attention for, babe.” Dean gently takes the book from his boyfriend and sits next to him on the bed. “Don’t bullshit me on this, but how are you doing?” 

“Fine.” Cas says shortly, reaching for his book. 

“Yeah, I think you misunderstood my asking for no bullshit.” Dean says as lightly as he can as he sets the book out of Cas’ reach. 

“I’m a little tired, but it’d be hypocritical for you to be lecturing me on adequate sleep.” Okay, he’s got a point. 

“But I’d say it’s fair for me to be concerned about you.” Dean puts on his best puppy dog eyes. “Right?” 

“I’m fine, Dean.” 

“Have I taught you the phrase don’t try to bullshit a bullshitter?” 

“Then why did you ask?” Cas throws his hands up and glares but there’s little to no spark in his eyes. 

“Cas, honey, I’m worried about you.” Dean lays himself bare for Cas, hoping to break through the sturdy walls. “Talk to me, please.”

“I’m adjusting.” Cas seethes. “How long did it take you to adjust after coming back from Purgatory or Hell?”

Dean tries not to but he flinches anyway. Cas’ eyes soften. The former angel sighs but doesn’t say anything more. 

“I know it’s hard, but just like you said I’ve done this before. Obviously not on the same scale of course but-“ Dean takes a breath to clear his thoughts. “When I came back I had help. Sam for one was always there. I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to help you.” 

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Cas sighs in defeat. “I didn’t mean for you to take the blame for my lack of... adapting.” 

“I don’t want you to be sorry; I want you to let me in.” Dean says as softly as he can. 

“How?” Cas’ voice breaks, he looks so tired. 

“Let’s start with how you’re feeling really?” 

“I-I don’t know.” Cas brings his knees up to his chest. “There’s so much, even with Angel radio my head was never this... disjointed. I don’t understand most of the feelings racing around inside. All I know is it hurts. Everything inside of me aches.” 

Dean’s always been better at acting then speaking so without a word he tilts Cas so the new human’s head rests on his shoulder. Dean places his arms around his boyfriend tightly and holds him. 

“When was the last time you ate, Cas?” Dean asks as his arms can feel each of the ribs through the flannel Cas had stolen from him. “And kept it down?” 

“I don’t know.” Cas mumbles. “It tastes fine but it feels heavy inside of me.

“Any other thoughts in that big, beautiful brain of yours you want to share with the class?”

“We’re not in a school, Dean.” Cas says, confused. 

“A figure of speech, Cas.”

“How do you do it?” Cas turns his head further into Dean’s neck. “I feel useless. It takes all of my limited energy just to sustain this body.” 

“You know what? If all you do is take care of yourself, that’s okay.” 

“I don’t know how.” Dean can feel something wet on his collar bone. He isn’t sure how Cas is crying, he can’t remember the last time he saw the former angel drink anything. “It feels like I’m still falling.” 

“I’ll teach you how, just like with Star Wars and shooting a gun. You’ll get the hang of it.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Then we’ll figure it out together.” Dean squeezes Cas close. 

“Let’s have some lunch, okay?” Slowly and gently Dean walks them both into the kitchen. “Something light, I promise.”

Dean hums as he heats up some tomato rice soup from a few nights ago. He also pours Cas a glass of juice and watches out of the corner of his eye as he sips at it tentatively. 

“All you got to do is eat half of this and drink all of that.” Dean says as he sets a small bowl of soup in front of Cas. 

Dean forces conversation as they both eat. They talk and talk until Cas’ bowl is almost empty and his glass of juice is gone. Then he fills up two water bottles, one for each of them, and tugs them into the Dean Cave. 

About half way through a Australia documentary, Cas’ head begins to lull on to Dean’s shoulder. A glance sideways informs him that the former angel’s eyes are fighting to stay open. 

“Get some rest, honey.” Dean presses a kiss to the dark locks. “I’ll watch over you.”


End file.
